Forgiveness does not change the past,
but it does enlarge the future.
For sure you’ve heard how important is to forgive – ourselves and those who did wrong to us.
I’m not going to focus now on why it’s so important, but anyhow there’s not so much to be said: you holding grudge eats your life like a cancer, slowly consuming your energy and resources of any kind, your health, beauty, positive impact on your life and others’, your creativity and potential, the quality and quantity of your life. And this is not why you’re here.
It’s like smoking: simply bad for you – no doubt about that. And it’s only YOUR thing, no one else’s.
Across years, I worked with my mind and soul on how to really forgive, and I got to developing a 3-step process which, for me, was the only one who worked. I trust it will work for you, too. I printed it out on paper and pinned it to my office wall as to see it until it becomes part of my subconscious mind. Even after some consistent while, I admit I still need sometimes to consciously remember it and take the steps. But when I do it, it works.
Here it is: How to forgive worksheet
1. Don’t take it personally.
That person did or said that thing solely because of what was (and maybe still is) in them. If you weren’t there, they’d have done or said that anyhow, to someone else, at that moment, or sooner or later. What was in them just needed a trigger to pop out, and you happened to be it at that respective moment.
So many people are full of repressed negative emotions gathered in decades. And if you try even a bit to put yourself in their shoes and imagine how it would be to live every moment of your life full of so much anger, or pain, or frustration, or whatever you could see popping out of them, you can get to a place where you feel compassion for them.
2. See that you are responsible.
This one doesn’t like at all to people holding grudge… but it’s true. The law of attraction said clearly that you can have an experience only if you attract it somehow. How could you have attracted that? For instance, by allowing thoughts that made you feel like you did when the event you can’t forgive, happened.
But if the law of attraction is too far from your belief, then accept you that you are at least partially responsible – for instance, for bringing yourself to that place, or next to that person, or involved in that event. Though remember – believe – that nothing big is accidental, your spirit for sure had a reason for bringing you to that situation. Such as… to learn something valuable for your life, maybe?
3. Declare: I forgive him/her, and wish him/her the best.
This brings your heart to peace, by letting it go. You just finish with the whole thing, you solved it and now you put it behind you.
A nice and very useful bonus to forgiveness comes if, after a while, you zoom out and ask yourself: really, what did I learn (especially about myself), how did I progress from that (supposedly negative) experience? – and don’t quit until you get your answer. You can do it!!
Holding on to anger is like drinking poison
and expecting the other person to die.
Just forgive, let it go… Observe: the anger is not you.
Following my understanding of what I am (see a previous post), I could see there is also a “WHO am I?” needing an answer.
In my readings and education I took, this “who” appeared with different names, depending on the source – just like many other realities we can find under more names at different authors. Most frequently it’s called ego, or identity, or the character or personage we’re playing here on Earth.
Most of my findings regarding this concept were that this personage implies, beyond identification data relevant for the society and physical traits genetically determined, a personality, character traits, habits etc. who “make you who you are”.
But the most relevant thing about this “who” that we are which I found – and embraced – which vibrates best when checked by intuition, is that, in fact, there is not a predetermined “who” we are (again, the “who” beyond the societal and physical aspects). There is no character trait or any other aspect about who we are that is inherited, despite the appearances. There’s nothing that can be REALLY seen or perceived about who we are. No one can use their senses (which are ultimately unreliable) or mind (which is ultimately subjective) as to see who we are. Who we are is not even who we prove at some point that we are, at least because deeds or events can be looked upon from so many vantage points.
Who we are is who we DECLARE we are. And this is who we are, equally for ourselves and for people’s knowledge. Most of the times people don’t have neither the resources, nor the ability, to check on who we might be, or on who we declare we are, and take our declaration as truth. Though there’s a catch: this declaration must be real for us; if we just play silly games and mislead people, a big price will be paid eventually and that’s losing their trust forever.
So we create who we are, and complete this creation with a declaration. How more simple can it be? We can be whoever we want, whenever we want. Isn’t life just great?
There are two days a year when you can’t do anything at all.
One is yesterday, and the other one is tomorrow.
Thus TODAY is the day to love, to learn, to live.
Today is the only chance…
Throughout the years, I kept running into different texts and authors saying that knowing who you are is a must in the process of growing.
So I started wondering who am I? Of course I could answer with my name, and address, and education and other elements who define us in society, but I could clearly feel this is not the right answer, even if at the time I could not say why. So I kept asking until it eventually became one of the great questions of my life.
And one day I was attending one of the courses of a great, unconventional education, and they were saying that every result in your life is a result of who you are, not of what you do. This blew my mind, and in this overwhelming understanding, I could suddenly see not who I am, but what I am. To me, it was a great revelation that is still with me today, but when I told my answer, THE answer, to people and friends around me, they were not only not touched, but puzzled and rather… disturbed, so beware, you might be the same when you hear my answer: I am what I am.
What I am can’t be defined, can’t be put into words, is somehow beyond language and probably even beyond the mind. For I did not even understand it with my mind, but with my heart (or my soul, or intuition, call it however you want) in a flash – a wonderful moment of the observer I later strove to become . What I am is like a majestic place of stillness, without any ego and without anything to say, or do, or prove, and without anything to fear, and anything to desire.
And that is what you are, too. This is my truth.
I thank God for this revelation which of course, is not my merit. I think it had a major contribution to getting rid of any fear I had left, through the years. Later on, I found out (via the mind and mental process this time) that I am energy, as well as wonderful characteristics of this energy, and this understanding has its place and role in my growth.
My revelation, as well as my further understanding of the same reality, regards the essence of me and of us as humans. There’s really not so much to say about it, I find things are rather simple – though I see it’s important to have a good answer about it.
As about WHO I am, this will be discussed in a future post. Stay tuned
It may sound odd, but the fastest way to get to a new-and-improved situation is to make peace with your current situation.
By making lists of the most positive aspects you can find about your current situation, you then release your resistance to the improvements that are waiting for you.
But if you rail against the injustices of your current situation, you hold yourself in Vibrational alignment with what you do not want, and you cannot then move in the direction of improvement. It defies Law.
Observe and accept.
Detach yourself and see you are separate of the situation, the consequence and even the emotion. They are not you.
Then, accept what is, let it be… It happened – or it is now. It’s just a step to the improved next – next moment, situation, the next you.
Now you’re ready for what you truly want, to come.