For sure you’ve heard how important is to forgive – ourselves and those who did wrong to us.
I’m not going to focus now on why it’s so important, but anyhow there’s not so much to be said: you holding grudge eats your life like a cancer, slowly consuming your energy and resources of any kind, your health, beauty, positive impact on your life and others’, your creativity and potential, the quality and quantity of your life. And this is not why you’re here.
It’s like smoking: simply bad for you – no doubt about that. And it’s only YOUR thing, no one else’s.
Across years, I worked with my mind and soul on how to really forgive, and I got to developing a 3-step process which, for me, was the only one who worked. I trust it will work for you, too. I printed it out on paper and pinned it to my office wall as to see it until it becomes part of my subconscious mind. Even after some consistent while, I admit I still need sometimes to consciously remember it and take the steps. But when I do it, it works.
Here it is: How to forgive worksheet
1. Don’t take it personally.
That person did or said that thing solely because of what was (and maybe still is) in them. If you weren’t there, they’d have done or said that anyhow, to someone else, at that moment, or sooner or later. What was in them just needed a trigger to pop out, and you happened to be it at that respective moment.
So many people are full of repressed negative emotions gathered in decades. And if you try even a bit to put yourself in their shoes and imagine how it would be to live every moment of your life full of so much anger, or pain, or frustration, or whatever you could see popping out of them, you can get to a place where you feel compassion for them.
2. See that you are responsible.
This one doesn’t like at all to people holding grudge… but it’s true. The law of attraction said clearly that you can have an experience only if you attract it somehow. How could you have attracted that? For instance, by allowing thoughts that made you feel like you did when the event you can’t forgive, happened.
But if the law of attraction is too far from your belief, then accept you that you are at least partially responsible – for instance, for bringing yourself to that place, or next to that person, or involved in that event. Though remember – believe – that nothing big is accidental, your spirit for sure had a reason for bringing you to that situation. Such as… to learn something valuable for your life, maybe?
3. Declare: I forgive him/her, and wish him/her the best.
This brings your heart to peace, by letting it go. You just finish with the whole thing, you solved it and now you put it behind you.
A nice and very useful bonus to forgiveness comes if, after a while, you zoom out and ask yourself: really, what did I learn (especially about myself), how did I progress from that (supposedly negative) experience? – and don’t quit until you get your answer. You can do it!!